MAUREEN

Every single day

I walk down the street

I hear people say,

"Baby's so sweet"

Ever since puberty

Everybody stares at me

Boys - girls

I can't can't help it baby

So be kind

Don't lose your mind

Just remember that I'm your baby

Take me for what I am

Who I was meant to be

And if you give a damn

Take me baby or leave me

Take me baby or leave me

A tiger in a cage

Can never see the sun

This diva needs her stage

Baby - let's have fun!

You are the one I choose

Folks'd kill to fill your shoes

You love the limelight too, baby

So be mine

Or don't waste my time

Cryin' -- "Honeybear -- are you still my baby?"

Take me for what I am

Who I was meant to be

And if you give a damn

Take me baby or leave me

No way -- can I be what I'm not

But hey -- don't you want your girl hot!

Don't fight -- don't lose your head

Cause every night -- who's in your bed?

Who's in your bed, baby?

(Pouts in JOANNE's direction)

Kiss, Pookie.

JOANNE

It won't work.

I look before I leap

I love margins and discipline

I make lists in my sleep

Baby what's my sin?

Never quit -- I follow through

I hate mess -- but I love you

What to do

With my impromptu baby?

So be wise

This girl satisfies

You've got a prize

But don't compromise

You're one lucky baby

Take me for what I am

MAUREEN

A control freak

JOANNE

Who I was meant to be

MAUREEN

A snob -- yet over-attentive

JOANNE

And if you give a damn

MAUREEN

A lovable, droll geek

JOANNE

Take me baby or leave me

MAUREEN

And anal retentive

BOTH

That's it!

JOANNE

The straw that breaks my back

BOTH

I quit

JOANNE

Unless you take it back

BOTH

Women

MAUREEN

What is it about them?

BOTH

Can't live --

With them --

Or without them!

Take me for what I am

Who I was meant to be

And if you give a damn

Take me baby or leave me

Take me baby

Or leave me

Guess I'm leavin'

I'm gone!