Cobleskillchick: i just read your message hun, what's going on? I'm here for ya if you want to talk about it

Auto response from blueyednbi: i really could use some cheering up...my heart feels like it's been shattered. leave me a message to show you care.

blueyednbi: a lot of stuff happened between me and amanda last night

Cobleskillchick: hmmm..do you wanna spill your guts now and just get it out?

Cobleskillchick: cause I'll just read

blueyednbi: she feels i'm smothering her, she needs her space, i am a selfish bitch, she wants to explore a relationship with nolan, when i mentioned my interest in her friend derek she freaked out, now we're on a break and i don't know if we'll get back together

blueyednbi: and i love her more than anything in this world

blueyednbi: and it doesn't seem to be enough

blueyednbi: and i have no reason to live anymore

Cobleskillchick: thats not true and you know it

Cobleskillchick: you have plenty to live for

blueyednbi: i can't live without her

Cobleskillchick: yes you can

Cobleskillchick: you did before you knew her

blueyednbi: i skipped class today because i couldn't force myself out of bed

Cobleskillchick: and you sure as hell can do it now

blueyednbi: i can't eat

blueyednbi: or do anything besides think of her and cry

Cobleskillchick: well sleeping in bed is one thing...thats alright (healing process)

Cobleskillchick: thats normal hun, and it'll pass just give yourself some time

blueyednbi: it feels like my heart's been ripped out of my chest literally

Cobleskillchick: I hear you

blueyednbi: we're on a break, but she's scared she won't come back to me

blueyednbi: and i'm terrified that that will happen

blueyednbi: i am in the worst pain i've ever known

blueyednbi: i just want to die

Cobleskillchick: but you have so many people that love and care about you, so they are the people you should want to live for...but I understand the heartbreak, crying is okay...

blueyednbi: but she is my life

blueyednbi: my world

blueyednbi: i want to be with her the rest of my life

blueyednbi: but i'm just causing pain

Cobleskillchick: she's not all thats in your world hun, what about mrs. fuller, bridgette, me, josh, rachel, and all the people back here that love ya? I know it hurts now...but remember we're here too

blueyednbi: i know

blueyednbi: but i need her

blueyednbi: i'm not complete without her

Cobleskillchick: yea...I bet, just give it a day or a couple of hours...eventually you'll find common ground

blueyednbi: she said she feels really tied down and scared, which is my fault

blueyednbi: now she's pulling away from me

blueyednbi: and i can't take it

Cobleskillchick: well...then try and understand her side too (I'm sure you've already thought about that...but who knows?)

blueyednbi: i do understand where she's coming from, it doens't mean i like it though

Cobleskillchick: lay in bed and cry it out...sometimes it's about the only thing that does help hun, and know that it's okay

blueyednbi: that's what i've been doing

blueyednbi: i can't take this pain

Cobleskillchick: your strong hun, more than you'd like to admitt, but I believe in you. Do you have anyone close by you can talk to?

blueyednbi: i've tried calling my friend mikey, but he went home for the night

blueyednbi: i paged lyn, but she hasn't returned it yet

Cobleskillchick: if I were there I'd let you cry on me in an instant

blueyednbi: i know

Cobleskillchick: I wish I were there to help!

Cobleskillchick: *sniff*

blueyednbi: i just want to fall to my knees and scream in pain

Cobleskillchick: have you tried Ben & Jerry's yet? they're a big help!

blueyednbi: no money

blueyednbi: and no desire to leave my room

Cobleskillchick: ahhh, well screaming sounds good to me

Cobleskillchick: go ahead...who's gonna mind?

Cobleskillchick: lol

blueyednbi: i've been blasting music to cover the sounds of me crying

Cobleskillchick: been there before...lol

Cobleskillchick: trouble sleeping too huh?

Cobleskillchick: hmmm

blueyednbi: if i had any alcohol around i'd drink til i pass out

blueyednbi: but i don't so there goes that idea

blueyednbi: i wrote some song lyrics last nigh

Cobleskillchick: cool

blueyednbi: i'll email them to you

blueyednbi: h/o

Cobleskillchick: great songs come out of bad situations

Cobleskillchick: thats a fact

Cobleskillchick: coolio send it to [email protected]

Cobleskillchick: i'm there right now

Cobleskillchick: i'm checking out your web page....I'm bad I hadn't yet :-(

blueyednbi: ok

blueyednbi: sign my guestbook please :-)

Cobleskillchick: did you send em>

Cobleskillchick: hellz yea

blueyednbi: still typing it

Cobleskillchick: I'll definatly sign

Cobleskillchick: cool

blueyednbi: sent it

Cobleskillchick: sweet, i'm on it....-going back to mail box- mwhahaha ;-)

blueyednbi: ok

Cobleskillchick: r u up for any phone calls? cause I have a calling card that might still be in service...lol you know u love me! hehe..just an offer..it's on the table, pick it up if it sounds tempting lol :-)

blueyednbi: ok

blueyednbi: you have my cell number?

Cobleskillchick: no...but I'm sure you do

Cobleskillchick: ;-)

Cobleskillchick: i'll read your songs and then sign off

blueyednbi: ok

Cobleskillchick: beware...I might sing cheesy songs

blueyednbi: oh dear

Cobleskillchick: :-) cause your awesome

Cobleskillchick: mwhahaha

blueyednbi: thanks

Cobleskillchick: no prob