You know that 3 Doors Down song, "When I'm Gone"? I just saw the video for it for the first time. That depressed me to no end because it's making it very real to me that I'm gonna have to say farewell to my beloved Tony in a short amount of time. He'll be back, of course, and hopefully all in one piece. But if he leaves in June, and my family moves back to MI in June, that leaves Krie all by her lonesome in NNY. No Tony, for at least 6 months, anyway. No family. No real friends. I really need a hug right about now.

Well, now more people in my family know I'm getting married. So far, besides my immediate family, my Aunt Kris, Greg, my great-grandparents, and my grandma all know that the wedding is coming up. My grandma said she'd do her best to come to the ceremony. I realize a bunch of my family will be missing, but we're planning a small wedding as it is, so it's no big deal. Whoever can make it, that's great.

I got into a discussion about Dawn with Tony while he was eating dinner this late afternoon. I've been talking to my mom, and she thinks that a) I should make Bridgette maid of honor instead of Dawn and b) stop doing homework for her. Tony agreed, because he feels that she's basically taking advantage of me. I'm glad she thinks I have all this spare time to cater to her every scholastic whim. I have a fucking wedding to plan, work, and a play to worry about. Getting married is a huge deal, and I just don't have time to save her ass. I don't care what she pays me, I just can't do it. I just might crack. Plus, she's not on my mom's good side for her brilliant idea of getting married without the family's knowledge or consent. If I'd listened to Dawn, I'd be disowned by now and living on the streets. Now that my family knows, my mom's been taking an active part in trying to help get Tony and I situated with all the planning and stuff. And believe me, it feels much better this way. So Tony told me to tell Dawn, in a nice tone of voice, that while I appreciate all the things she's done for me, I can't continue to do homework for her. I have way too much going on right now. I just can't take it. She needs to do things for herself anyway.

On a different note, I ran into Cane at the PX today while shopping with my mom. I waved to him, and as I did, I flashed my engagement ring. He's such a loser. What the fuck did I ever see in him? He's one of those people that will never amount to anything of remote interest. He'd better not plan on leaving the army anytime soon because there's not much that he'd be able to contribute to the outside world. And on a similar note, Sorin keeps IM'ing me. When will he realize that I don't want to communicate with him anymore? It's really fucking irritating that he's got this holier-than-thou attitude towards our respective faith. He comes across as saying, "I know more about Asatru; therefore, I'm better than you. Ha." I hate when people are like that. How I wish my exes would just leave me alone! I'm getting married! Just stay out of my life!!!

Am I sounding harsh or bitter? Sorry. I'm a rage of emotions all of a sudden. But there's a lot of stress placed on me, so I have to vent or else I'll burst. Grr.

So much for a bried update, this just turned into a random tirade. Oh well. I love Tony, we're getting married, and that's all that matters, right? Speaking of which, we have a premarital counseling session on Saturday with Rev. Luisi, who is in my theatre group and knows my family. This should be interesting.

On a totally different note, Tony and I made love tonight, with "Golden Girls" on the TV in the background. How odd of a combination is that? Not like we were paying attention, anyway.

I'm going to attempt sleep.