He seems to be yet another "friend" whose "advice" needs to be taken with a grain of salt. I don't get why I put up with mindfuckers. It only makes me feel very, very used.

And all this after I vowed to not put up with psychic vampires anymore!

He tells me that Amanda still wants Joe. She laughed and said that if she did, she'd have had him by now.

He tells me that whenever he saw us together, it looked like she didn't show me as much love as I showed her. That I knew was false, and when I told her, she about laughed her ass off.

He tells me that she's no angel. Duh. Who is? We all have our mistakes, our demons lurking about in our mindshadows. The trick is learning to control those demons and keeping them harbored in a safe place so that they don't control YOU.

He tells me that he never saw us really "hang out", just get together and have sex. What a load of crap. First of all, he never saw Amanda and I together as often as he thought he did. Second of all, he's being a total fucking hypocrite. All he talks about is how he wants to get laid and how he likes to rim and give blow jobs and blah blah blah. Basically, he gives details that no one with a sound mind should hear. No wonder Jeff finds him obnoxious. And I know Jeff isn't the only one.

Then he has the nerve to tell me in the beginning of my relationship with Amanda that he "doesn't want me getting into drugs with her." Please! Mikey said that he has no room to say anything. He told me that he's a social pot smoker (basically, if he's with other people and it's there, he'll do it), but Matt is always bugging him incessantly to find ways to get him stoned.

Mikey said Matt gives all gays a bad name, and I believe it. He is a total busybody and hypocrite. He yells at Stephanie to stay out of other people's business, yet he does the exact same thing. He tells me that he only says good things about me behind my back, but I find that incredibly hard to believe. Stephanie once showed me a chat transcript of them talking about, who else, me. I was shocked at some of the things he said! Oh, but I'm one of his best friends...bullshit. He doesn't know the meaning of the word friend.

I think Amanda has a point. She said he just wants to break us up. I'm beginning to see what she meant by that in the first place. I thought I could forgive him and overlook his shortcomings (like the perennial optimist and loyal friend I am), but the more I think of it, the more I realize how much of an impossibility that is.

He also smells funny. (Seriously.) And whenever he bends over, it is a hairy ravine that no one should ever have the unfortunacy of seeing.

That and he has this thing of being TOO proud to be gay. As Kevin said, it is one thing to be proud of who you are, and it is another thing to knock people over the head with it. He tells me all the nasty things he supposably tells his mother, but I highly doubt he'd have the balls to say the things he says. I asked him why he says those things one day, and he replied snootily, "She HAS to learn." No one should tell their mother about the length of a guy's cock that he supposably sucked the night before. And I highly doubt he really does. He just says that shit for the shock value, for the attention it brings. I am a self-admitting attention whore, but at least I don't banter about with oversensationalized drivel to get people to notice me. I don't create salacious lies to have people tell me, "Oh my God, that's horrible!" and then wonder why people have such a negative view of me. He is a breeder of negative energy, that's for damn sure.

I've noticed that I've been paying closer attention to energies since getting with Amanda. She's really into that sort of thing, and I think it's rather interesting. I used to be able to see people's auras (colors and everything). But after throngs of clueless people kept asking me, "Ooh, what color's my aura? What does that mean??", I eventually lost my touch. It got to the point where I was bullshitting people just to get them to go away. Now I'm lucky if I can pick up on someone's energy, let alone the color of their aura.

The thing is, Matt thinks he's helping. He's really just causing more chaos. But being the cynic I am (cynical, yet optimistic--what a contradiction I am), I'll bet that he does have some sort of malevolent scheme hiding in his subconscious. Then again, that could be my wicked side peeking through, coming up with things that may or may not be true at all.

I swear Matt is trying to get me to leave Amanda and push me into Andy's arms. I know why he'd want to see me with Andy--all the disruption it would undoubtedly cause in the lives of quite a few people. Andy has been with Michaela for over a year, but lately they've been having problems. I like Michaela. I don't want to upset her by stealing her man. That and Mikey has the hots for him big time. So if I ended up being with Andy, not only would I hurt Amanda, but I would hurt Mikey, Michaela, and most definitely myself. And Matt would be "blame-free" because all he did was point me in that direction, and I did everything else on my own free will. And I'm sure that at that point he'd come running to "rescue" me from all the anguish and give me more bad advice and eventually succeed in ruining my life.

Needless to say, I'm attracted to Andy, but I'm NOT going to pursue anything beyond a really cool friendship. Instead, I'll just pursue Mark because at least then I'll be doing things on MY terms, not according to someone else's advice. Though I bet Matt wants to see me with Mark because hey, it's not Amanda. I think Matt is just pissed at Amanda because she called him on his "triflin'" behavior in some way, shape or form. I don't think I want to know the details of their fallen relationship. The less drama in my life, the better.

I really should invest in sleep. The problem is, if I go to sleep now, I won't be awake in time for class or work. And that would be bad. Especially if Mark works a similar shift. :)