Kriedom: hey

IAskedAliceAgain: Thank You For Chatting on gay.com! (flowers and dildos adorn the screen)

Kriedom: lol

Kriedom: i got tired of their senseless drivel

IAskedAliceAgain: groovy icon

Kriedom: thanks

IAskedAliceAgain: yes. . .that happens quite frequentl;y

Kriedom: placebo fan?

IAskedAliceAgain: occasionally

Kriedom: they

Kriedom: are my absolute favorite

IAskedAliceAgain: i'm suspended in time. i listen to the cure and the cranberries, for chrissakes

Kriedom: the cure is always good

IAskedAliceAgain: talking heads, leff buckley, this mortal coil, suzanne vega

IAskedAliceAgain: a whole shitload of folk

Kriedom: i'm really into brit-pop

Kriedom: classic punk, too

IAskedAliceAgain: ahhh yes. ever listen to the gits?

Kriedom: no, can't say i have

IAskedAliceAgain: their frontwoman was mia zapata. she was amazing.

Kriedom: i'm a big buzzcocks fan

IAskedAliceAgain: heh heh. . .punkaholic, eh?

Kriedom: to a certain extent, yes

Kriedom: brit-pop's #1 in my book, though

IAskedAliceAgain: radiohead?

Kriedom: of course

IAskedAliceAgain: spaaaace rock

Kriedom: as well as travis, idlewild, coldplay, muse

Kriedom: and a bunch of others

IAskedAliceAgain: i like the smiths

Kriedom: so do i

Kriedom: and new order

IAskedAliceAgain: kate bush

Kriedom: peter gabriel, too

IAskedAliceAgain: *smile* of course

IAskedAliceAgain: mogwai. . .the crazy scots

IAskedAliceAgain: i named a fish after them

Kriedom: hehe

IAskedAliceAgain: i have to pee. . .desperately. . .be back in a moment

Kriedom: ok, lol

IAskedAliceAgain: ahhhh so much lighter

Kriedom: lol

Kriedom: have you ever heard of the white octave?

IAskedAliceAgain: no. . .but i'm sure i will soon enough

Kriedom: their lyrics are very poetic

IAskedAliceAgain: awesome.

IAskedAliceAgain: ever listen to neutral milk hotel?

Kriedom: no, don't think i have

IAskedAliceAgain: they are very poetic as well. . .in a dadaistic sort of way

Kriedom: i'm not waiting around. you have opened the door. waiting for nothing more. no more touring around. but it keeps my nights full. no more nights with no encore. this salt in wound scenario is growing old. but i'm protected by a thousand layers of built-up skin. designed to protect what you've destroyed within. i'm not waiting around. you have opened the door. waiting for nothing more. no more touring around. but it keeps my nights full. no more night with just us four. this salt in wound scenario is growing old. and all i have to show for it is scars. just promise that you will always be the one. who talks when i refuse to speak. just let me miss ("Appeals for Insertion" by the white octave)

IAskedAliceAgain: mmmm.

IAskedAliceAgain: warm and tearful. i like it.

Kriedom: i think you'd really like their song "call the kiss"

IAskedAliceAgain: Like an owl I always returned

to my bed at dawn,

stinking of cigarettes and cheap talk and night life

and glowing with scratchy remnants of your presence,

a cat's rough tongue in my hair.

Later, I read books about masochists

and giggled with you under the sheets.

we camped by day,

until Manhattan shook us awake at dusk.

.

Family quarrels and bad drug trips percolated in us

as we made coffee and washed tables.

caf� smells and indie rock lured customers,

customers who told us we were beautiful

entreated us to play Scrabble with them,

and we responded with smiles to them

and secret winks to each other.

Let the suckers in the back flip the granola pancakes.

We belonged in the front lines.

.

Stale sweat and sauce stains are no deterrent

when it's bedtime and you have a blanket with a beating heart.

.

Years later (nine months),

my biceps still beefy

from balancing trays of ginger beer and falafel,

I deliver flowers and a poem to you at Woodlawn

and remember our off-days and on-nights.

Books still come in the mail for you,

your name anonymously glaring from white labels.

They are but a small part

of the altar that has built itself for you.

Kriedom: that's amazing

IAskedAliceAgain: that's mine

Kriedom: wow...that's really powerful

IAskedAliceAgain: *blush* thank you. : )

IAskedAliceAgain wants to directly connect.

IAskedAliceAgain is now directly connected.

IAskedAliceAgain:

IAskedAliceAgain: it was written for her.

Kriedom: http://www.angelfire.com/super2/krieativity/poems/formylove.html

Kriedom: i have a website with a lot of my poetry on it...that's one of them

Kriedom:

Kriedom: written about her

IAskedAliceAgain: damn it. . .i can't pull up the link.

IAskedAliceAgain: but she's beautiful.

Kriedom: some of my work

Kriedom: i know

IAskedAliceAgain: what is her name?

Kriedom: amanda

IAskedAliceAgain: and again my server cannot find the url

Kriedom: hmm...

Kriedom: -After the sun has melted into a charred, pitch-black, gooey dwarf heart-

-When the moon has died a pitifully icy, lovelorn death-

-When the lazy stars defiantly decline to shine-

-When the sea bass shrivels up, unleashing the foulest of stenches upon the land-

-After the guitars of the world refuse to play but just one riff-

-After there are no more bagels to be toasted-

-When filmstrips and puppydogs are no more afraid of the dark than water-

-That's how long I will stay attached to your heart.

IAskedAliceAgain: fothermucker

IAskedAliceAgain: *smiles*

IAskedAliceAgain: i like it, i like it

Kriedom: written for her

IAskedAliceAgain: you make me want to have coffee with you

Kriedom: mmm, a cappucino sounds lovely

IAskedAliceAgain: sweet sad songs heard

over cloves and shade-grown coffee

milk my mind for memories

excavating sweet earthy you

.

let's pick up again

in the spirit of alice

virtual realities don't

exist only on the flipside of the mirror

.

sweet sad songs can hurt more than

opium

memories of nine months ago and

extrication from a smashed vehicle

.

did i tell you

i am the only survivor,

exhumed from a grave shared with your mirror?

.

so these sweet sad songs

tipped with indian cigarettes

invoke memories of you, of her, of an irrevocable

loss, of two gentle distant unfinished

loves

.

i tolerate each day with one leg

.

singing a sweet sad song

unearthing one

reviving another

IAskedAliceAgain: visiting a gravesite and a website

i raise my teacup

verily, i hope you'll join me

excavation can be so lonely

Kriedom: such emotion dripping from every syllable

Kriedom: Magnetic whiteheat

Zap at your slightest touch

Passion engulfs the soul

Swallowing it whole withing the flames

Burns the flesh, though it is temporary

"Pain is love" says the echoes of time

That may be the case of me with you

I'd go through the Inquisition twice over for just one kiss

Electric choreography with each movement of your lips as ours tango in the night air

Under stars that illuminate the charcoal sky

As we shiftshiftshift to each side

"Tighttight" our bodies yelp

Twined to another--unable to leave

As the flames surround us and eat us all up

We dance the moonlight dance for the rest of eternity

Slowly revolving and keeping no space

While nature sings us a sweet hushed lullabye.

IAskedAliceAgain: it's kind of sad that i owe half of this past year's work to her death.

IAskedAliceAgain: you're so sensual. i like your style

Kriedom: the past few months have been written about/for her

Kriedom: thank you

Kriedom: *blushes*

IAskedAliceAgain: yeah. .. they tend to fill up your soul

Kriedom: it was as if our souls became one...that's how deeply i felt for her

IAskedAliceAgain: yes. . .do you hear her as you wake up? do you expect to roll over and find her beside you?

Kriedom: yes

Kriedom: and i'm torn into shreds over being with her or not

IAskedAliceAgain: as she continues to hurt you.

Kriedom: we have this incredible bond to each other, yet it's mirrored with such angst

Kriedom: exactly

IAskedAliceAgain: but i understand. i'd be a lying shit if i said i didn't

Kriedom: it's incredible to find someone that knows exactly how you feel...

Kriedom: She

Treats me like a lady should be treated

Like a precious flower that cannot be dropped

As a porcelain ladyfriendmidget worth more than gemstones

She

Won�t ever drop me or let me collect dust on a shelf

Worships me like a nondomestic goddess upon the dirt

Makes sure I fall never from my tarnished pedestal

She

Keeps me locked from the vicious creatures of the night

Lets me be the workinprogress I am

Judges me not by simple yardsticks

She

Completes me

She

Is my lover

She

Has my pulsating heart in her hands

She

Holds me and rocks me to sleep when insomnia creeps into my head

Most importantly,

She

Loves me

And I love

She.

IAskedAliceAgain: can i adopt you, you tortured, brilliant creature?

Kriedom: lol...if i can do the same

IAskedAliceAgain: soitanly, soitanly.

IAskedAliceAgain: you'd love me. i make my own chai and mochas : )

Kriedom: ooh, mocha....yumm...

Kriedom: i can't cook to save my life, but i'm an excellent singer

IAskedAliceAgain: singing=good

IAskedAliceAgain: i just adopted a new guitar

Kriedom: i want to go on broadway

Kriedom: i play bass

IAskedAliceAgain: since my old one was stolen

IAskedAliceAgain: bassist=killer fingers

Kriedom: lmao

IAskedAliceAgain: and i am listening to a mix of the cranberries, tori, and the guess who

Kriedom: i love the guess who

Kriedom: i'm thinking of putting on my white octave cd...i feel like waxing poetic a bit more

IAskedAliceAgain: no sugar tonight (in my coffee) no sugar tonight (in my tea)

IAskedAliceAgain: wax away

IAskedAliceAgain: : )

IAskedAliceAgain: i think the lead singer of the cranberries sounds like joan baez with an irish brogue

Kriedom: hmm, never thought of that

Kriedom: if i could split my heart in two, i'd give the beating half to you (more white octave lyrics)

IAskedAliceAgain: *smiles*

IAskedAliceAgain: white octave is so you.

Kriedom: i just recently got into them

Kriedom: i appreciate awesome lyrics...to me, lyrics make or break a song

IAskedAliceAgain: when the word and the chord become life partners, the song has achieved nirvana

Kriedom: very true

Kriedom: and it seems that's very difficult to find nowadays

IAskedAliceAgain: yes.

Kriedom: h/o, i'll brb

IAskedAliceAgain: okay

Kriedom: back

Kriedom: h/o phone

IAskedAliceAgain: ha

IAskedAliceAgain: all right

Kriedom: back

Kriedom: it was my mom

IAskedAliceAgain: hi, mom

Kriedom: hehe

IAskedAliceAgain: i just adopted these two new fish

Kriedom: this may sound weird, but it feels like i've known you for a while

Kriedom: cool

IAskedAliceAgain: yesterday i found them in a scummy, cracked bowl. . .a betta and an oto

IAskedAliceAgain: just sitting there on the sidewalk

Kriedom: i used to have a betta

IAskedAliceAgain: so i rescued them

IAskedAliceAgain: i'll add them to the tank when i'm sure they don't have any diseases

IAskedAliceAgain: bettas are awesome. i had a grrl one for awhile

IAskedAliceAgain: i totally hear you on feeling like we've known each other

Kriedom: reminds me of a quote from "dogma"--"find some man, some woman, that you can connect with, even for just a moment. that's all life really is, sister, it's a series of moments."

IAskedAliceAgain: true, that.

Kriedom: ah, "call the kiss" is playing now

Kriedom: very, very moving song

IAskedAliceAgain: jethro tull - one brown mouse, here

Kriedom: my dad is a huge tull fan

Kriedom: i grew up listening to them

IAskedAliceAgain: heh. . .i grew up on janis and the beatles and the who

IAskedAliceAgain: love every one of 'em

Kriedom: tull, def leppard, 80's pop here

IAskedAliceAgain: Puff warm breath on your tiny hands.

You wish you were a man

who every day can turn another page.

Behind your glass you sit and look

at my ever-open book ---

One brown mouse sitting in a cage.

IAskedAliceAgain: Do you wonder if I really care for you ---

Am I just the company you keep ---

Which one of us exercises on the old treadmill ---

Who hides his head, pretending to sleep?

Kriedom: Call The Kiss under stars. i watch the sky. as night consumes the daylight. and i recall the sweetest dreams. but red wine helps them fade. here's to another glass. i need it to displace. the emptiness i cannot swallow. i tried to cleanse these guilty hands. but the stains they won't leave. i tried to rush to your defense. but i tripped on my weak words. don't terrorize. my senseless whines will fade. my eyes complain. my mouth stays shut. i leave you in your bed. i pulled your teeth. to hear the truth. the truth is it still kills me to this day. but don't terrorize. my senseless whines will fade. into another glass. it's too soon for today. today i feel about okay. i wait for these nights to come to an end. so i can feel at home. i tried to rush to your defense. but these guilty hands they shake. don't terrorize. my senseless whines will fade. if i could split my heart in two. i'd give the beating half to you. if these words never rise above us. i swear i'd slit my wrists for you. if life becomes so cold and dim. that to breathe is to live. then i'll breathe for you. but i won't repent. i won't repent for what i did to make this break. here's to another glass. i need it to replace the emptiness. i cannot take away

IAskedAliceAgain: i want to cry.

Kriedom: you should hear the accompanying music

IAskedAliceAgain: *downloading

Kriedom: that's the song that got me into them

IAskedAliceAgain: damn comp is fozen

IAskedAliceAgain: frozen

Kriedom: i hate that

IAskedAliceAgain: *trying to be the good, patient jackass*

Kriedom: hehe

IAskedAliceAgain: there we go. white octave. . .call the kiss.

Kriedom: "style no. 6312"--in the rain. i see your makeup. slowly dissolving on your cheek. in a way. you're like a circle. constant and closed off from me. it's time that i wrote this song. it's about you. i surrender to you. in the wake of the conversation. i'm devoted to you. i surrender to you. and i claim this to be the first day. i can wake up without you in my head. so we play songs of disaster. but the tone of the music will change. it's time that i wrote this song. it's about you. i surrender to you. in the wake of conversations. i'm devoted to you. i surrender to you. i lost you. i lost you. i lost you dear

IAskedAliceAgain: ieeee download faster

Kriedom: *tries to make download go quicker*

IAskedAliceAgain: hee hee

IAskedAliceAgain: i love audio galaxy, though. . .so much stuff

IAskedAliceAgain: 20% downloaded, my ass

Kriedom: try grokster....you can find basically anything there

IAskedAliceAgain: *falls backward*

Kriedom: oh no!

Kriedom: *catch!*

IAskedAliceAgain: *smile* thank you

Kriedom: no prob

IAskedAliceAgain: that was a good stretch, though

Kriedom: hey, i try

IAskedAliceAgain: i like being caught on occasion, though

IAskedAliceAgain: it's a nice relief

IAskedAliceAgain: hey, we're still directly connected

Kriedom: how about that

IAskedAliceAgain:

Kriedom:

Kriedom: damn, didn't think that'd be such a big filr

Kriedom: *file

IAskedAliceAgain: mother superior meets cinderella

Kriedom: hehe

Kriedom: that pic's a year old

IAskedAliceAgain:

IAskedAliceAgain: if you can guess which one's me. . .

Kriedom: gee, i wonder...

IAskedAliceAgain: that's about two years old

IAskedAliceAgain: i went to my senior prom with my best friend in the whole world.

Kriedom: i went to prom junior and senior year with the same guy (who was my boyfriend at the time...we dated for 2 years)

IAskedAliceAgain: fun fun

IAskedAliceAgain: i didn't go to my junior prom.

Kriedom: i left him when i met amanda

IAskedAliceAgain: wow.

Kriedom: that didn't go over very well, though we're friends now

IAskedAliceAgain: yeah. . .i remember coming out to my boyfriend. he quoted the fucking bible.

Kriedom: how lovely

Kriedom: christian babble

Kriedom: is always fun

IAskedAliceAgain: indeed.

Kriedom:

IAskedAliceAgain: awww, a faery. *pets*

Kriedom: back when i was a fake rehead

IAskedAliceAgain: you are a really cute girl.

Kriedom: thank you *blush*

IAskedAliceAgain: as if people don't tell you that all the time.

Kriedom: well, now...:-*

IAskedAliceAgain: so your real name is krie?

Kriedom: krystie, actually...krie's my nickname

IAskedAliceAgain: mine is kristen. . .eerily similar

Kriedom: strange...i have an aunt named kristen, actually

IAskedAliceAgain: hahaha

IAskedAliceAgain: well, shucks

Kriedom: i was kinda named after her

IAskedAliceAgain: i was named kristen because i was born in december. i was going to be named meredith.

Kriedom: i've always liked the name meredith

IAskedAliceAgain: yeah, me, too, damnit

Kriedom: my mom swore she was having a boy and didn't come up with a girls

IAskedAliceAgain: oops

Kriedom: name until about a month before i was born

IAskedAliceAgain: well, she did all right

IAskedAliceAgain: : )

Kriedom: i would've been kurt vaughan II, after my uncle who shared the same birthday

Kriedom: why thank you

Kriedom: instead of getting a boy, she got a girl who likes girls...

IAskedAliceAgain: i prefer the latter

IAskedAliceAgain: *playing the white octave song*

Kriedom: hope you like it...playing "pure morning" by placebo at the moment

IAskedAliceAgain: d'you like modest mouse?

Kriedom: i've only heard 1 song once

Kriedom: and that was a while ago

IAskedAliceAgain: i like the sound of this

Kriedom: gotten to the best part yet?

IAskedAliceAgain: that song made me cry.

Kriedom: unbelievable, isn't it?

IAskedAliceAgain: *blinks* yeah. it is.

IAskedAliceAgain: mm, vegan pizza

Kriedom: i don't have the discipline to be vegan

Kriedom: plus, i'm a very picky eater, so there's not a lot of veggies i like

IAskedAliceAgain: i'm not a true vegan. . .but everyone else in this house is, so i often just give in to conveniencfe

Kriedom: i like burgers too much, too :-)

IAskedAliceAgain: i'm more of a "freegan"--i eat eggs and dairy that come from free-roaming animals on private, local farm

IAskedAliceAgain: s

IAskedAliceAgain: well, as local as a bay-area farm can get

Kriedom: there's nothing but farms up here

IAskedAliceAgain: hee hee. . .upstate new york

Kriedom: there's a difference between upstate and northern, as i found out the hard way

IAskedAliceAgain: it's all upstate to me ; )

Kriedom: upstate refers to the syracuse area, while nothern is, well, north of that

IAskedAliceAgain: so you're upper than upstate. . .

IAskedAliceAgain: damn

Kriedom: believe me, i got clued in to that...

Kriedom: syracuse is an hour south of me

IAskedAliceAgain: JESUS

Kriedom: canada is 45 minutes north

IAskedAliceAgain: you're in fuckin' canada!

IAskedAliceAgain: ha, yeah

Kriedom: pretty much, eh

IAskedAliceAgain: *grin*

IAskedAliceAgain: i have actually only met southern new yorkers here. .. most of them are white-bread aristos from westchester county

IAskedAliceAgain: and a few from the city

Kriedom: up here you'll find military peeps like me (dad's in USAF) or country hicks

Kriedom: rednecks abound up here, it's scary

IAskedAliceAgain: hoo ha

Kriedom: we have what are known as COWs...Citizens Of Watertown

IAskedAliceAgain: HAHAHA

IAskedAliceAgain: well, my darlin', i have an interview in half an hour

Kriedom: there are some pretty nasty people in this area

IAskedAliceAgain: i'm all ready to go. . .but it's quite a walk down there, as campus is frickin' huge

IAskedAliceAgain: much klan activity up there?

Kriedom: i need to start getting ready for my callback, as well

Kriedom: not where i am, but north of me i'm sure there is

IAskedAliceAgain: yeesh

Kriedom: there used to be a big klan haven way back in the day not far from me

IAskedAliceAgain: gawd

Kriedom: tell me about it

IAskedAliceAgain: they rallied once near my neighborhood (back home), which is predominantly black

IAskedAliceAgain: needless to say.

Kriedom: how lovely

IAskedAliceAgain: well, i need to get going.

Kriedom: as do i

IAskedAliceAgain: *hug* you are wonderful.

IAskedAliceAgain: ha ha, i got one right on your quiz

Kriedom: thank you *blush*

IAskedAliceAgain: *grin* talk to you later, sweet tortured poet.

Kriedom: ok, hope your interview goes well

IAskedAliceAgain: thank you, thank you

IAskedAliceAgain direct connection is closed.

More on this later.