Other than trying to delete about a thousand files from my computer, life's been pretty decent. I had to get 2 fillings this morning at 8:15, which was NOT fun. And for some reason, I am getting pictures from people all of a sudden. Sorin sent me one yesterday, Kevin II sent me some today, and I looked at some horrendous pics taken of me during rehearsal today. Have I really gained that much weight? Fuckin' a.

Speaking of which, allow me to rant. Why is it that I'm happier with myself now that I'm overweight than I was when I was perfectly fine? Sure, I'd love to lose the weight. In fact, starting Friday my mom and I are dieting together. But I've been getting more guys to come up to me now than I ever did when I was thin. And I have Sorin in my life, which right there is a big happiness point. And now that I've put on all this weight, I feel so much better about myself as a person than when I was thin and suicidal. I don't get it. I guess I refuse to believe that only thin is beautiful, and what's inside is where the true beauty lies. And I really do think I'm a beautiful person. My gods, it's taken me YEARS to be able to say that, but I mean it. My body may be larger, but so is my strength. And I don't care what people think nearly as much as I used to. Yes, it's annoying trying to find clothes that fit. But I don't think just losing 30 or more pounds will make a bigger difference in my self-esteem. I'm still Krie. And I have always said that the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with will love me no matter what I look like. And I know Sorin fits the bill on that one. Anyone that cares about my size isn't worth caring about. So what if my medication caused weight gain? I'm a much better person than I was in high school. And that's all that matters. I love me for me. Fuck everyone else.