You Don't Even Notice A Difference

You tell me "it's too soon".

All I can do is try to hide the violence inside

And smile bitterly with witheld tears.

I scream back in silence

And you don't even notice a difference.

You just see how mildly upset I seem

And are content with that.

"But there is so much more" I try to squeak out

But the words cling to my throat like dissheveled monkeys

And I bite down on my wimpered tongue with a dirty vengeance,

Hoping to grasp ill-begotten words before they reach your beating eardrums.

I turn to leave,

Handle out of my back, waving defiantly,

And as you go own your merry way,

I start to crumble, manifesting into dust,

But you don't even notice a difference.

--November 4, 2002--