It was very interesting early this morning. I started off chatting with Amanda, who informed me that she's been to NNY, where I spent the past 4 years of my life (and graduated from high school). To make sure she wasn't yanking my chain, I was asking her about the sites that she claimed she saw. I was also chatting with Josh at the time, so I asked him to help verify things, since he's lived there his whole life. I wanted to be absolutely sure she wasn't just trying to trip me up, and she was gonna hear it from me if she was. I'm pretty sure she was telling the truth, but she said she had pictures, so when I see those I'll know for sure. I don't appreciate when people say things like that and then turn around and say, "Oh, you believed me? Wow, I was just pulling your leg! I can't believe how gullible you are!" Therefore, I test people about things like this. I also have this fucked-up paranoia complex, in which sometimes I think that everyone's lying to me. It's not something I can control...it just happens sometimes. I think most people can identify with that, except mine gets to the point where I think it's all a conspiracy and that I've been lied to my whole life. I hate it, I really do.

Anyway, after I'm done chatting with her, I chat with Josh some more. I told him about how I'll be home next weekend (home meaning NNY) for spring break. I may be bringing Amanda with me. I emailed my mom about yesterday, and I saw that she read it, but she hasn't answered me back yet. I asked how he felt about meeting her, and he said it didn't matter to him either way. (She said the same thing when I asked her about meeting him.) But, we'll see. I am so hoping my parents will say ok. I would love for them to meet her, and I want to take her to school with me and show her some of the local "sights" (namely, depressing-as-all-hell Watertown and whatnot).

Then Diver Chris started IMing me. We decide that both of us can't sleep and are bored as hell (since both of us decided not to go to a Mardi Gras party--we're both trying to stop drinking as much as we did last semester), so we met outside my dorm and walked around aimlessly. We eventually got tired and decided to go back to my room. Since he didn't feel like putting up with his drunk roommate, I let him stay over. He ended up stripping down to his underwear due to how hot it was in here, but absolutely nothing happened. He slept on the top bunk, anyway. Not even so much as a hug happened, so there's nothing for Amanda to worry about. It was nice to hang out with Diver Chris, though. I like hanging out with him--he's a lot of fun. We talked about all sorts of stuff, mainly trying to figure out what to do with our lives. He hates the fact that he's constantly told how quiet he is...he said it makes him feel like he's overlooked. We also determined the reason why he likes hanging out with me is because I'm so loud and boisterous and attention-hungry (pretty much the opposite of him). It's also accompanied by the fact that he's still very attracted to me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still attracted to him, but there's a big difference between my attraction to him and my attraction to Amanda. My heart is most definitely with her. I'm mostly attracted to his personality. And I'll always have this connection to him, seeing as I was his "first", if you catch my drift. (And, as far as I know, his only.)

I guess I should get going, seeing as I need to clean my room and change my fish's water. (Poor little guy is swimming in some gross water!)