Bengali

Spoken in: I don't remember...wherever Bengal tigers are from, I'm sure. Look it up if you must know.

1=ayak

2=dui

3=tin

4=char

5=pan'ch

6=soy

7=shat

8=aa't

9=noy

10=da'sh

And on that, I lead you to the biggest development in my life since getting married. And that is...

I'm pregnant.

I'd thought I was for a while, and now it's become a fact. Here's how I found out...

I'd noticed that the past week I'd gotten symptoms of having my period, but no blood whatsoever. Then during my shift yesterday I suddenly became unbearably nauseous. I decided to call Guthrie Clinic when I got home from work to see what was going on. I was given the nurses hotline # and called that. I told the lady what was going on and she said I'm either pregnant or very stressed. Tony had been bugging me for a few days to test again, so I did after I picked him up. This was about 8:30 this morning.

Anyway, I go into the bathroom after he's done showering to take the test. I do the pee-on-a-stick thing and then watch the result come in. The test I took had a square and an oval on it, and a pink line to go through each, depending on the result. If you're not pregnant, then you just get a line in the oval. If you are, there's a pink line in both the square and the oval. I watched the pink come in, and almost instantaneously I saw a dark pink line form in the square first, then the oval. I double check the meaning and realized what it meant. "Oh my God," I said. Repeatedly. I get up and commence crying and shaking, freaking out beyond belief. I calm myself down long enough to open the bathroom door and find Tony in our bedroom, getting dressed for work. He sees me freaking out and asks me what's wrong. Somehow, I choke out the words "I'm pregnant". He holds me close and tells me everything's going to be okay. He's obviously thrilled at hearing this. He tries to calm me down, which doesn't really work. I'm just freaked out at the concept that I suddenly have a person growing inside me. And how drastically my life will change. And how I'm going to basically go at this whole pregnancy alone with Tony being off in Afghanistan for fuck knows how long. And how I wish I had at least 1 family member around so I had some immediate support whenever needed.

I feel extremely alone and I want to cry. And I'm sitting at my desk at work. That's not good.

Nevermind. I AM fucking crying. Fuck. I hate the fact that I have baby hormones combined with bipolar ones. This makes me insanely moody. And medication for being BP is out of the question because I don't want to harm the baby.

And morning sickness has become all-day sickness. This sucks ass. Wouldn't it be much more convenient to just have a baby a week from the conception date?

I don't feel like writing a pissed-off dissertation about anyone at the moment. Maybe later, when I finally fucking puke.