For My Love, Who Left Me As I Was Dying

There is a sad, strange truth that I must acknowledge, much to my dismay.

What mystical truth is this?

Allow me to make a brief dissertation.

You have dealt me nothing but pain,

While mirroring it with total love.

I am completely ambivalent on how you make me feel, my dear.

On one hand, there is torment.

You left me literally on my deathbed because your plans were too important.

You caused innumerable suffering in the duration of our courtship.

You managed to thouroughly disgust the general population with your actions.

But on the other hand, there is love.

When you would smile, I would melt.

When you would touch me, I would faint.

When you would hold me in your arms, I would feel safe.

So now that I have lost you, what am I to do?

There is a pathetic reality to this sad, strange truth I must acknowledge,

And that is the fact that no matter how much I scream in torture,

Or cry in v(p)ain,

I am totally unable,

Uncapable of feeling

Any form of hatred towards you.

My heart won't allow it.

It has made its mind up to love you,

Ever obstinate, ever proud.

And the rest of me is left wondering and helpless,

Adhering to the command of my demigod heart

As it cries out in shock

And weeps in pure affection.

Therefore, my love, it is as simple as this:

You've packed my bags, thrown them out,

And left me starved, cold, and naked at a crossroads

Though I must admit,

Underneath my goosebumped flesh

I feel the warm glow of love fill my every pore

As it keeps stoking the charcoaled embers,

Hoping to find something worth clinging to

While waiting for its turn to pass on to its next reincarnation.

My darling, YOU may have left,

But your presence never will.

I am forever haunted by you

And all your misgivings.

And though you may abuse me to a nonexisting point,

I still can't find it in my heary to feel contempt towards you.

And for that, and that alone, I can never forgive, or forget, you.

--March 22, 2002--