I had a meeting with Dr. Bodine this morning. He told me that what I should start doing is writing down my mood whenever it shifts over the course of the day and look for triggers for my hypomanic/depressive episodes. I also read "The April Fool (AKA Me)" for him. He said it was amazing. (What can I say, I'm a poet, through and through...)

After that, I went out to JCC with my dad to meet with a financial aid counselor. I started getting all panicky when we went out to the main court of the building and I saw a horde of people, some of which I went to high school with. (There's a mood shift right there.)

Then we went to the mall so I could drop off my Waldenbooks application and so he could look for an anniversary present for my mom. While there, we ran into Josh at FYE. (I still think he should buy "Elvis Sings For Kids"...)

We then proceeded to drive (or, rather, I should say that I drove, which I did all day) out to Clayton so my dad could find The Clipper Inn restaurant, which is where they're going for their anniversary dinner this Saturday. It's also where Josh and I went for pre-prom dinner last year. (The filet mignon and napolean are AWESOME!)

Then it was time for voice rep class, followed by a trip to Wendy's, then summed up with rehearsal. Then it was time to head home, which is where I am now.

I sent Amanda an email last night. It's probably a very counterproductive thing for me to do, but I'm concerned about how she and everyone else are doing. I do miss hanging out with the whole crew. Lyn got arrested for stealing from her work, and may be pregnant with Shawn's child. I hate to say this, but I kind of hope she is because she's a bit of, as Amanda said, a "turbo-slut". It would definitely curb her sleeping around, at least for a little while. And Natalie and Shawn moved back to St. Louis, with Nolan soon to follow. Amanda will be starting her new job with Fox Theaters soon, fixing AMC theaters all over the place. That's all I know, and that's from the last time we spoke, so who knows what's going on.

Everyone tells me to not have any form of contact with Amanda, including Dr. Bodine. But I can't help it; it's not like I've stopped caring about her, or stopped loving her. It's not exactly feasible to just shut yourself off from someone you care so deeply about. Anyone who's loved and lost will tell you that.

I have a feeling my grieving period will be immense this time. I hope I don't drive myself crazy with this. Either way, it'll make for interesting poetry fodder.

Wish me luck on my interview tomorrow morning!